i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
