so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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