if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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