I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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