I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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