tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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