After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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