i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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