Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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