You're completely useless in the revolution.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
