FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This baby is an asshole
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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