dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
