I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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