doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
