He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize