Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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