Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A+ Viking dick
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