you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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