Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Couch. On fire.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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