I look better un-naked...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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