dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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