So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
