I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
