I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize