why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
