I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
