Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
