I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
