hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
