i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
