just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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