it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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