No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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