Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
