Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
