I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
ttyl tear gas
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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