There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
vagina is talking i cant
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
