This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
