It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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