so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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