I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
