i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
