They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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