I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
