honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
