Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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