I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
