Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
