yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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