Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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