He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
