end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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