I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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