Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
