I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How naked do you want me to be?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
