We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
