My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
