I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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