Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
