so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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