My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
