You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
