I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pants are for mortals
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
